That Door is Closed (So Why is He Trying to Kick it Down?)
by seetherrayne
Summary: "Why haven't we talked about it?" Her eyes snapped to his in surprise. Had he been thinking about it, too? "About what?" Stiles rolled his eyes. "About what happened last time we were standing right here." Or the one where they finally talk about the locker room kiss


**This is another fic I wrote for stydia-fanfiction on tumblr. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Lydia walked into the boy's locker room, stopping when she didn't see Scott in there. Confused, she pulled out her phone and checked the text he sent her.

 _Pack meeting in the locker room at lunch._

She didn't read it wrong. So where was everybody?

Walking farther into the room, she tried not to think about the last time she was in there. Why she was bothered by that memory, she didn't understand, but she was. She had just kissed him because she panicked and couldn't think of anything else to do, but things hadn't been quite the same between them since then. There was tension there, probably stemming from the fact that both of them refused to talk about it, and it had only gotten worse when he got himself a girlfriend.

Because she did want to talk about it. But everything had been crazy, and by the time things had died down, she wasn't sure if it was okay to bring up. She knew that he had feelings for her when that happened, she could tell by the look in his eyes, and she wasn't sure where she stood on that subject. She felt something for him, but she hadn't been completely over Jackson, and she wasn't ready for another relationship. She didn't want to string him along if she wasn't ready for a real relationship.

But then Aiden happened, and what started as a distraction started to become something more, and then it was over before it really began. Don't even get her started on Allison.

Stiles had been by her side through it all – believing in her, supporting her, loving her – and she finally thought that she might be ready to accept his love. She had planned on talking to him about the kiss, about her feelings. She had even gone over to his house to see him.

But he hadn't been there. He had been with Malia, the Sheriff told her. He'd spent a lot of time with Malia, trying to help her, and when she asked Stiles about it, he said that they were more than friends. A week later, they were official.

So she buried down her feelings. He deserved to be happy, and if it wasn't with her, then why should she try to stop it? He had waited around for her for years. It wasn't his fault that he had moved on right when she woke up and realized that she wanted him.

Not that any of that made her any less bitter about the situation, but it was the thought that counted, right?

She knew that she had been hostile towards Malia at times. Of course she knew that. She didn't mean to be, but it happened. But it wasn't simply because the coyote was dating Stiles. She wasn't that petty. Malia just got on her damn nerves. The girl had just waltzed in and wanted to be best friends with everybody, which Lydia could understand. After being on her own for so long, it made sense that she wanted companionship. But while Kira had warmed right up to the girl, Lydia had been hesitant. She didn't want a best friend, she already had one and lost her. So excuse her for being a little gun-shy when it came to getting close to someone new.

The door opened, causing her to jump. She was about to hide, fearing that it was Finstock and she would have to explain what she was doing in the boy's locker room, but then she saw that it was just Stiles. He saw her, a questioning look on his face. "Where is everybody?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm the first one here."

"I know Scott had to stay after class because Mr. Yukimura wanted to talk to him, but I don't know about everybody else," Stiles explained as he walked closer to her.

"So, I guess we wait," she suggested.

"Yep," he said.

He walked past her to lean against the locker, pulling out his phone. He looked at it for moment before typing something and putting it back in his pocket. "Apparently Malia had to stay after class, too. She didn't do so well on her last math test."

"That sucks," she said, genuinely feeling bad for the girl. She hadn't been doing as well this year, considering that she was in a different class then Lydia and couldn't rely on her notes. "Is she failing the class?"

"Not yet," he said. "But it's not looking too good. I'm trying to help her, but she's not getting it."

"Well, she knows that if she needs help, she can come to me, right?" she asked, stepping closer to him. Sure, Malia wasn't her favorite person, but she wanted to see the girl graduate.

Stiles nodded. "Of course. She's just stubborn."

"I can't disagree with that," she told him.

They were silent for a moment, Lydia looking down at her nails. When she looked back up, she realized how close she was standing to Stiles. Almost as close as she was the last time they were in here together. Then she saw where they were standing.

They were standing in the exact same spot where she kissed him.

She sucked her lips in, looking back down quickly as she tried to will the blush away from her cheeks. This shouldn't be awkward. They were friends. It was just a coincidence that they were standing in that spot, seeing as it was so close to the door.

"Why haven't we talked about it?"

Her eyes snapped to his in surprise. Had he been thinking about it, too? "About what?"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "About what happened last time we were standing right here."

"I don't know," she said, shrugging. "I guess it just hasn't come up until now."

"I guess," he said.

"Did you talk about it with anyone else?" she asked, curious. Surely he told Scott.

"No," he told her. "I haven't told anybody."

"Not even Scott?" she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

He shook his head. "Things were crazy, and it never came up. Did you talk to anybody?"

"No," she said. "Like you said, things were crazy."

They stood in silence again, and as much as the conversation about the kiss scared her, she was curious. "I would've thought that you would atleast tell Scott."

"Why?" he asked, giving her a confused glance.

"You tell Scott everything," she explained.

"Not this, I guess," he shrugged. "I mean, it only happened because I was having a panic attack, so it's not some huge deal, right?"

"Right, of course," she said, trying to hide her disappointment. She could've sworn that he felt the spark that lit between them at that kiss, no matter how it ended up happening. The spark that made her second guess just how she felt about the boy in front of her. But it seemed like she was wrong. Maybe he was over her long before Malia came into the picture.

Stiles continued. "I mean, it's not like it even would've turned into anything. We're friends, and that's how we feel about each other. It was completely medical and platonic."

She narrowed her eyes. Now it seemed that he was trying to convince himself. "Okay."

"It's not like it's a movie," he said, starting to ramble as he continued. "Where the two friends kiss and live happily ever after, riding off into the sunset. That would be stupid."

"Uh-huh," she nodded, not sure how to take this information. She looked down, trying to figure out how to ask the question in her mind, curiosity getting the best of her. "Would it…would it really have been so stupid if that actually did happen?"

"Well, I guess not," he mused. "But it didn't, so I don't know why we're even entertaining –"

"It could have, though," she blurted out, immediately regretting it as she saw the confusion on his face. Of course she couldn't rein herself in.

"What do you mean?" he asked, straightening up.

She bit her lip, not sure if she should continue. She really shouldn't. He had a girlfriend, and he loved her. It would just end with him staying with Malia and Lydia would only be embarrassing herself.

"I just…" She trailed off, her face flushed and it was suddenly too hot in that locker room. "I was just…I don't know what I'm saying."

"Lydia," he said, taking a step towards her. She saw the confusion and concern in his eyes, and her chest tightened. She couldn't do that to him. Not when he's finally moved on. "What's going on?"

"It doesn't matter," she said, stepping away from him. "Even if something could've happened, the door has closed, and you've moved on, so it really doesn't matter."

"Yeah, it does matter," he insisted. "Did you want something to happen?"

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have said anything. We shouldn't have talked about it."

"Obviously we should have talked about it sooner," he said, flailing his arms. "Did you want that kiss to become something?"

"Not at the time!" she admitted, knowing that he wouldn't stop until she told him. She just spoke quickly and hoped he didn't catch most of it. "When I kissed you, it was out of pure panic, but then I felt something, and it made me rethink my feelings for you, and I realized that I might just want to be more than friends. But at the time, I wasn't ready for another relationship, even though that's what I wanted from you, so I looked for a distraction instead. Then Aiden happened, and then Malia happened, and now it's too late, okay? It's too late for me to want you, so why do you need to know about it?"

She could practically see the gears turning in his head as he looked at her, and she knew that he caught everything she said. Fuck.

"Say something," she told him, embarrassed. She hated being embarrassed, so she got mad instead. "You asked for it, and I gave it to you. The least you could do is answer me."

"I don't know what to say," he said.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Stiles Stilinski speechless. That's a first."

She turned around to walk away, but he grabbed her arm gently. He walked around her to face her, and looked her in the eye, using his other hand to life her chin up so she would look at him.

"What are you doing?" she asked, anger turning to nervousness.

"I want you to look at me when I say this," he told her, searching her face. She nodded hesitantly, and he continued. "I completely understand why you didn't tell me. I do. Both right after it happened, and since then. But now that I know, I can't just pretend like you never told me. I can't pretend like the girl I've been infatuated with for years, and in love with for a few more, doesn't feel the way she does about me."

"You're with Malia," she said. "You've moved on."

"Yes, I'm with Malia," he admitted. "But I never said anything about moving on. I can't just move on from you, Lydia."

"Yes, you can," she insisted. "It's apparently quite easy. Just ask the werewolf in London."

She stepped away from him again, fighting against the tears building in her eyes. "I've accepted the fact that I can't have you, Stiles. And I'm okay with just being friends."

"So am I," he told her. "But if we both want to be something more –"

"Don't say that," she snapped. Why couldn't he just let it go? "Every time I think that there can be hope for something – anything – good in my life, it turns to shit. Having a happy family, having a perfect boyfriend and a good future. Going to prom and graduating with my best friend. I hoped for so many things, and what do I have to show for it?"

"You're still here," he said. "That what you have to show for it. That everything has gone to shit, and you've been through hell, but you're still here, and you're still fighting. That's where we all are at this point, Lydia. We're still here, and we're still fighting. Just because bad things have happened, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to be happy."

"I'm getting there," she told him, scoffing at the implication. "I don't need a boy to be happy, Stiles. You of all people should know that."

"That's not what I'm saying," he assured. "I'm trying to say that you don't need to be so self-sacrificing. I'm happy with you in my life, Lydia. You are one of the main people that keep me going when it gets tough. Even more than Malia. And if it's what you want, I want to be with you."

"What about Malia?" she asked.

He brought his fist to his mouth, thinking. "I'll take care of Malia."

"And break her heart in the process?" she accused. "I will not be the reason she gets her heart broken. She's still part of the pack."

"You won't be the reason," he told her.

"Yes, I will," she insisted, knowing that it was the truth. "I don't want to be with you if that's the case. Like I said, we missed our chance. If another chance comes up, maybe we'll take it, but right now, it's gone."

The door opened, Kira bursting through. "Sorry I'm late – where is everybody?"

Lydia put more space between her and Stiles, smiling at Kira. "Scott and Malia had to stay after class, and I don't know about Liam. Why are you late?"

"Your mom stopped me in the hallway to talk, making sure I had all the information I missed yesterday for chemistry."

"My mother can definitely talk," Lydia said.

Liam came in, closing the door behind him. "Sorry, Mason was grilling me about what was going on, and he wouldn't let me go."

"That's okay," Kira said. "Scott's not here, yet, anyway."

"Yes, he is," Scott said, stepping into the room with Malia right behind him. "Sorry."

"You're fine," Lydia said. "What do you got?"

Malia went to stand by Stiles as Scott explained why he called the meeting, and Lydia didn't miss the perplexed look she gave him. Malia looked between her and Stiles, her brow furrowing in confusion.

Lydia cursed herself as she realized that Malia smelled the emotions between them. That meant that the others probably smelled it, too, but were nice enough not to question it.

She knew that this wasn't the end. Malia would ask about it, and probably get it out of Stiles, and they might even break up. Then there would be all kinds of drama between them and everybody else because it's high school, and no one would end up happy.

All because she couldn't keep her mouth shut, and shut down her curiosity.

Everyone knew what curiosity did to the cat.

''''''''''

She had been right. Two weeks later, and there was still drama. Malia refused to talk to both Stiles and Lydia, and only talked to Scott because he pulled the Alpha card. She stuck with Kira, who felt torn between everybody, and told everyone that she was a neutral party in the whole situation. Lydia had barely talked to Stiles, and Liam just seemed really confused by it all. It was apparently his first big break-up drama in a group of friends, and he wasn't sure how to handle it.

Lydia walked into class, sitting in her normal seat and ignoring the brown-eyed boy behind her.

"Lydia, you have to talk to me at some point," Stiles begged.

"I know what you're gonna say," she told him. "What's the point of talking?"

"What am I gonna say?" he asked.

She turned in her seat, crossing one leg over the other as she looked at him. "You're going to say that it's not my fault that you and Malia broke up, and that we can be together, right?"

"Not right," he said. She raised her brow at him. "While I was going to tell you that it's not your fault, we don't have to be together. Not if you don't want to."

"Really?" she asked.

"Of course," he said. "We've been friends for a while, and I don't want to lose you over something so stupid, okay?"

People started coming in for class, so Lydia lowered her voice and leaned closer to him. "So you'd be okay with just being friends, even though you know that I have feelings for you?"

Stiles nodded. "I know I was pushing things, and I shouldn't have been. I was stupid, and now I've gone and fucked everything up for everybody. But I still want you in my life, Lydia."

She looked at him, contemplating. They had been friends for the past couple of years, even with her knowing that he had a crush on her since forever. If he was truly okay with it, so was she.

"Okay," she nodded, holding out her hand. "Friends?"

Relief filled Stiles' face as he took her hand. "Friends."

Scott and Kira came in just as the bell rang, and Lydia didn't miss the smile that lit up Kira's face. She came to sit next to Lydia as she turned back around to see what the teacher was writing on the board.

"So you guys are talking to each other again?" Kira whispered to her.

Lydia nodded. "We're friends again."

"That's awesome!" Kira said. "Now if we could only get Malia to talk to anyone."

''''''''''

Lydia sat at Scott's dining room table, helping him understand the pre-calc homework.

"Once you get it, it'll be easy," she assured him.

"Easy for you to say," Scott told her. "You're a genius."

Stiles set the drinks on the table, sitting next to Lydia. "If anyone can make you understand, it's Lydia."

"I know," Scott said, running his hand through his hair. "But we've been at this for over an hour. Can we take a break?"

"Fine," Lydia said. "But only a short one."

He pushed the book away with a victorious smile, leaning back in his chair.

"How's it coming?" Mrs. McCall asked, coming into the kitchen.

"We've made progress," Lydia told her.

"That's good," she said, ruffling Scott's hair. "I was never very good at math, and I guess it's genetic. But I got through, and so can you."

The doorbell rang, and Mrs. McCall went to answer it.

"Was Kira gonna come by?" Stiles asked Scott.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Along with a couple of other people."

Mrs. McCall came back into the kitchen, Kira, Liam, and a reluctant Malia following behind.

Everyone was silent for a moment, the tension thick in the air. Malia was glaring daggers at Stiles as he sat there, looking at Scott like he was crazy.

"What's going on?" Lydia asked.

"I'm only here because I'm forced to be," Malia said, her arms crossed over her chest. "Just putting that out there."

Scott looked at the group, standing up. "Look, I know that we've had issues the past couple of weeks, but I'm tired of it. You guys need to work things out, and no one's leaving until you do. We're a pack, and we need to work together. We can't do that if we're all fighting."

Lydia looked at Malia, who was visibly irked.

"Are you really going to force me to do this?" Malia asked.

"Yes," Scott told her.

She glowered at him for a moment before rolling her eyes and sitting at the table. She looked between Stiles and Lydia. It didn't seem like she was going to say anything, so Lydia started.

"Malia, I just wanna say –"

"How long have you had feelings for him?" Malia interrupted.

"What?" she asked. That's where she starts?

"I already knew that you had feelings for him. " Malia told her. "But how long have you had feelings for him? Answer me."

"I – I'm not sure," she said, looking down at her hands. "It just kind of crept up on me. But I didn't realize it until –"

"Until you kissed him?" Malia asked. Lydia nodded, and Malia rolled her eyes, turning to Stiles. "Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I told you, I didn't think that it was important at the time," Stiles admitted.

"I specifically asked you if anything had happened between you and Lydia!" she exclaimed, slamming her hand on the table. Her eyes flashed blue. "You told me no! You lied to me!"

"I didn't think her kissing me to stop a panic attack counted as something happening between us!" he argued. Lydia didn't blame his train of thought. She really wouldn't have counted it, either.

"But that fact didn't stop you from feeling something during the kiss, right?" Malia asked. "Another thing you didn't tell me."

"Malia," Lydia interjected. "That kiss happened before we even knew you, and nothing came of it. I would never want to hurt you. I didn't want you two to break up. It just happened to come up in conversation a couple of weeks ago, and everything blew up, because I was too curious. We shouldn't have talked about it, and I definitely wouldn't have talked about it if I knew that it was going to cause all of this. I'm sorry."

Malia was silent for a moment, mulling over the apology.

"I'm madder about the fact that I wasn't told what happened," the young coyote admitted, calming down slightly. "Stiles was my boyfriend, and I thought that you were my friend. The fact that neither of you told me is what makes me so mad."

"I'm sorry, Malia," Stiles told her. "I really am. I honestly didn't think that it was anything. Hell, I didn't even tell Scott."

"Which does hurt, I have to admit," Scott joked, a small smile on his face.

"I apologize to you, too, Scottie," Stiles said, smirking before turning back to Malia. "Can we try to work through this? I understand if you don't want to be best friends or anything, but Scott's right. We're all part of the same pack, and we need to work together."

"Okay," she said, a smirk forming on her face as she looked between the two of them. "But when you're around me, please keep the snogging down to the minimum."

"Hey," Stiles said. " _Harry Potter_ reference."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "There's not going to be any snogging."

"Why not?" she asked. "You obviously have feelings for each other. Don't not get together because of me."

"Really?" Stiles asked.

"I'm not going to give you my blessing or anything," Malia said, crossing her arms. "But I'm not going to stop you, either. Like I said, just keep the snogging to a minimum. And honestly, if the situation was reversed, it wouldn't stop me."

Lydia looked at Stiles, who looked just as confused as she did.

"We'll keep that in mind," she said.

"Now was that so hard?" Kira asked.

"Two weeks of drama, and it took five minutes to sort if all out?" Liam said, dropping his head on the table.

"Sounds like high school to me," Mrs. McCall said.

''''''''''

Lydia closed her locker, not surprised to find Stiles standing there. She was suspicious at how nervous he looked, however.

It had been a few weeks since they smoothed things over with Malia, and she seemed to be okay. They had even had a couple of girls' nights with Kira since then, and Malia had been talking about a new boy who caught her eye. She had also been hanging out with Stiles more – as friends, of course, like it used to be before he date Malia.

"What's up?" she asked, eyeing how fidgety he was.

"Nothing," he said, shrugging.

"Really?" she asked.

"Totally," he told her.

"Okay," she said, starting to walk towards class.

"Do you have a date to the Winter Formal?" he asked, walking beside her.

There it is. "Not yet, why?"

"I don't have a date, either," he said. "I was thinking maybe we could go together. You know, as friends."

Lydia couldn't keep the smile off of her face. "Just friends?"

"Well, yeah," he nodded.

"Well, what if I wanted to go as more than friends?" she asked, putting her hand into his.

His eyes were wide as he looked at her. "We could definitely go as more than friends."

"Good," she said, squeezing his hand. "It's a date."

"It's a date," he echoed back to her.

She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before heading into the classroom. Before she could get over the threshold, he pulled her back, his hand on the back of her neck, and kissed her lips.

She kissed back, her arms going around his neck. Someone cheered, and she pulled out of the kiss, not wanting to make a spectacle in the hallway. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to kiss you properly," he told her, smiling at her.

"Well," she said, lowering her voice as she rested a hand on his chest. "I hope there's plenty more where that came from."

"Definitely," he whispered.

They walked into class holding hands, Kira giving them a thumbs-up. Malia rolled her eyes at Kira, but she had a small smile on her face.

The bell rang as she sat down, the teacher shushing everybody.

Lydia took notes as the teacher talked, feeling Stiles' gaze on her. She looked up to find him smiling at her, and she smiled back before going back to her notes.

After a few minutes, Kira caught her eye as the teacher wrote on the board and handed her a piece of paper with her name on it.

Confused, she made sure the teacher still had his back turned to them and opened the paper.

 _Good for you guys. Just keep the snogging to a minimum. ;)_

 _\- Malia_

Lydia roller her eyes as she smiled, looking over at Malia, who was giving her an innocent smile. After shooting the teacher a glance, Malia made kissy faces at her. Lydia quickly stuck her tongue out at her, not caring how immature it was.

She heard the tap on the board, signifying that he was about to turn around, and both girls looked down at their papers, trying to hide their smiles.

Sneaking a glance at Stiles, he gave her a questioning look. She just shook her head, mouthing 'later' to him.

As she went back to taking notes, she couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, everything worked out for the best.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think!**


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